Who would’ve guessed? Today (March 14th) is Fill Our Stapler Day. But I don’t have a stapler. I’m very sad. However, I am looking forward to As Young as You Feel Day, which happens on March 22nd.
How young do I feel? I feel like I’m eighteen, but with a full blown case of BPH (benign prostatic hyperplasia) and too many wrinkles. You might think I’m sharing too much information, but today (March 16th) is also Freedom of Information Day. I have a lot more information to share, but for now I want to express how much I’m looking forward to next year’s Extraterrestrial Culture Day (February 9th), Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Day (February 11th), and Absinthe Day (March 8th). Those days managed to slip by without participating in an extraterrestrial event, drinking absinthe, or crying over spilled milk. To be honest, I didn’t spill any milk. I don’t like milk, nor do I drink absinthe, but I will keep that to myself on February 11th, and show humble respect to those who try not to weep over spilled milk, or cast a sympathetic eye on the drunken stupor of the absinthe drinkers on March 8th, while I, substituting one beverage for another, absent-mindedly sip a cream soda.
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